About Me

My name is Herbert J. Kerbert 

a.k.a. Herbie Kerbie 

a.k.a. Owner of the HUGE one!
 
I'm a human male. My age is something I do not wish to discuss.

I look like the bad boy type but ladies I'm really just a softie at heart.

I live here on my shelf with my favorite peoples and our cat.
Oh that stupid frikkin cat!

I spend my days sleeping, looking at por...er um...things online, talking with the ladies and in general just being my awesomeness self.

My hobbies are many and varied but some of my more favorites are having my lady friends over for some Herbie Kerbie time. The ladies just love me and can't seem to get enough. I'm all about lovin the ladies. I also enjoy cuddling, sculpting, sunning my beautiful green body (I do have to stay looking nice for the ladies). Listening to music and various podcasts and t.v. I love t.v. I like horror, comedy, and the romantic in me likes romantic comedies. Hey don't laugh at me! There's nothing wrong with being a sensitive guy.

My pet peeves include times when my butt itches, mean people, and anything else that makes me angry. Oh and sometimes that stupid frikkin cat!

My parents are my Mother who's also my Father though that one has never been explained to me in any way that makes much sense. When I've asked my dear Mom about it she just says she's both my Mother and my Father and then she tells me to shut the hell up.

My talents are having a huge one. I mean monstrously huge. Women want me and men are in awe of me. It's huge ladies! It takes a lot to satisfy me but I'm well worth it.

I also have a talent for keeping my bestest friend who I live with here out of trouble with the wife. Sometimes that man says things that no man should have the nerve to say to his wife. It's my job to save him from himself and her too. Running interference sort of. I love them both but sometimes he says something and I just have to yell out "Stop man! You don't know what you're doing! Her eyes are getting bigger by the second, her nostrils are flaring and she's getting angry! Run now while you can!" Poor guy. I've saved him so many times over the course of our lives together. She of course wouldn't really hurt him unless one day it does become possible for looks to kill.

Truthfully they're both very good to me and they're both lucky to have me. I am after all me and wonderfully me and...alright fine! We're all lucky to have each other and that frikkin cat!

 *Special Note*


For the ladies or if you'd like some advice about the ladies feel free to email me at


herbert.j.kerbert@gmail.com

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